We all started somewhere
Every single person comes from a family. That family is made up of imperfect individuals who may have been trying their best, but passed down parts of themselves that live on in you today. Moments of joy, insecurity, fear, trauma, and pathways of love. Those interactions deeply shape the way that you process the events around you every single day.
So why don’t we talk about our families of origin more? Why doesn’t the church walk alongside others in the midst of their pasts to examine them, process them, and grow beyond them? Jesus did that with his disciples.
The Old Testament is the story of God working through a family line. In my devotions, I just finished 1 & 2 Kings, which tells the story of generation after generation of kings who failed to remember the story of their ancestors and broke their covenant with God. It’s heartbreaking – until you remember that you and & I are not so different.
Jesus walks alongside his disciples, and one stands out to me in particular: Peter. A brash, brazen, and passionate individual who has some of the greatest moments of clarity and elation in the Gospels, and some of the lowest, most disappointing revelations of his own humanity. Yet Jesus sticks with Peter. Jesus restores him to relationship, and helps Peter move beyond his past.
He wants to do the same thing with you.
Practice: Examine
How did asking only questions go in your conversation? If you’re like me, you’ll have found that harder than you ever expected. I keep having to stop inserting myself and my own thoughts into a conversation and to truly listen. I’m a work in progress.
We’re going to do some more heart work this week, and it starts with some acknowledgement.
- Acknowledge how the blessings and sins of your family (back multiple generations) profoundly impacts who you are today.
- Recognize you have been birthed into a new family, the family of Jesus.
- Put off the sinful patterns of your family of origin and culture, and learn how to do life in the new family of Jesus.
This week, spend some time examining your family.
Here are some questions from Emotionally Healthy Discipleship to get you started:
- How would you describe each family member (parents, caretakers, grandparents, siblings, etc.) with two or three adjectives?
- How would you describe your parents’ (or caretakers’) and grandparents’ marriages?
- How was conflict handled in your family over two to three generations? Anger? Gender roles?
- What are some generational themes (i.e. addictions, affairs, losses, abuse, etc.)
- How well did your family do in talking about feelings?
- What traumatic loss has your family suffered?
- What was considered ‘success’ in your family?
As you work through this, remember that everyone has a story. God wants to redeem your story, and you are part of a new family. Recognizing the past allows us to join with His better future.
I’ll be praying.